Sunday, July 8, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Dear I-Might-Sound-Like-A-Bitch-But-I'm-Just-Being-Direct:
There are ways to be direct without sounding like a bitch. Instead of "Hey, you need to blah blah blah quicker." with the snappy hand gestures and the attitude or "What are you doing? Blah blah blah (Now I'm ordering you to do something)." can easily be "Ok, you know how to blah blah blah. Step your game up and we can get done quicker." in a friendly, lets-do-each-other-a-solid tone or "Once your done with that, we really need blah blah blah done. Could you do that?"
Its not that you are a bitch or anything, but you haven't learned to be direct in a way that isn't bitchy. And once you learn that, you can become a better leader.
"The oceans and the rivers attract the streams by their skills in being lower than they." Condescension doesn't make anyone want to do anything. Its a God awful motivator. When you give good advice in a condescending tone, you are probably going to make the recipient want to resist the advice. Later, the recipient might heed it, but wouldn't you want him/her to receive it immediately? We're all equals here, so treat others like one.
There are ways to be direct without sounding like a bitch. Instead of "Hey, you need to blah blah blah quicker." with the snappy hand gestures and the attitude or "What are you doing? Blah blah blah (Now I'm ordering you to do something)." can easily be "Ok, you know how to blah blah blah. Step your game up and we can get done quicker." in a friendly, lets-do-each-other-a-solid tone or "Once your done with that, we really need blah blah blah done. Could you do that?"
Its not that you are a bitch or anything, but you haven't learned to be direct in a way that isn't bitchy. And once you learn that, you can become a better leader.
"The oceans and the rivers attract the streams by their skills in being lower than they." Condescension doesn't make anyone want to do anything. Its a God awful motivator. When you give good advice in a condescending tone, you are probably going to make the recipient want to resist the advice. Later, the recipient might heed it, but wouldn't you want him/her to receive it immediately? We're all equals here, so treat others like one.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
I just finished the second book of Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea Quartet. I read them when I was little, well at least the first two books and a bit of the third. So tomorrow I venture into new Archipelgan territory.
Ursula K. Le Guin is most widely known for her Earthsea series, but is also acclaimed for her version of the Tao Te Ching. Going back and reading A Wizard of Earthsea and The Tombs of Atuan, the Taoist elements are completely obvious. I love it. I read a little bit of her translation of the Tao Te Ching and I loved her rendition of the first chapter. So I ordered that bitch. Can't wait to read it!
Yesterday, I meditated for the first time in a while. I felt so good, like douching all the sewage in my mind. So today I meditated again. For a while I was meditating everyday. That was only for a month though. I think I'll pick it back up again. It's a great stress-reliever and just makes you feel content. Very refreshing.
Tomorrow we Americans will celebrate LIBERTY and FREEDOM and THE BEST PART OF AMERICA - USAAAAAAAAA! I get to work my ass off. I know this because we get slammed during holidays and nothing's more American than a Brazilian steakhouse. Believe me, if you've ever been to one, you'd agree.
Well, it's off to eat and then to bed. I've got a big day ahead of me that I must mentally prepare for.
Ursula K. Le Guin is most widely known for her Earthsea series, but is also acclaimed for her version of the Tao Te Ching. Going back and reading A Wizard of Earthsea and The Tombs of Atuan, the Taoist elements are completely obvious. I love it. I read a little bit of her translation of the Tao Te Ching and I loved her rendition of the first chapter. So I ordered that bitch. Can't wait to read it!
Yesterday, I meditated for the first time in a while. I felt so good, like douching all the sewage in my mind. So today I meditated again. For a while I was meditating everyday. That was only for a month though. I think I'll pick it back up again. It's a great stress-reliever and just makes you feel content. Very refreshing.
Tomorrow we Americans will celebrate LIBERTY and FREEDOM and THE BEST PART OF AMERICA - USAAAAAAAAA! I get to work my ass off. I know this because we get slammed during holidays and nothing's more American than a Brazilian steakhouse. Believe me, if you've ever been to one, you'd agree.
Well, it's off to eat and then to bed. I've got a big day ahead of me that I must mentally prepare for.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Surgeon general warning: this entry is raunchy and not recommended for the light-hearted, elderly, or any woman in the later trimester of her pregnancy.
When I returned from work, I found Ruby had shitted all over my room. You could tell she was nervous because the feces wasn't very solid. I'm talking about diarrhea. The nasty awful kind that reeks.
I took poor little Ruby for a walk so that she may exude any foul thing she had left in her. After I returned, it was time to get to work.
I felt like some ax murder, viciously scrubbing the rugs: latex gloves and carefully dabbing trying to transcend the vile nature of the situation. I'm no Ed Gein, but I did a pretty good clean-up job.
Other than that, work was aight and I got a little tip money. Not bad. Tomorrow's my day off and I plan on cleaning my room, reading, watching some movies, and whatever else. On the movie menu: Dead Leaves (an anime), Breathless (a Jean-Luc Godard film), and the Godfather movies I still have yet to watch any of. So big day tomorrow. Also, little Ruby has a check up appointment with the local vet, so I know she'll enjoy that. Hopefully she won't diarrhea all over their floor, too.
When I returned from work, I found Ruby had shitted all over my room. You could tell she was nervous because the feces wasn't very solid. I'm talking about diarrhea. The nasty awful kind that reeks.
I took poor little Ruby for a walk so that she may exude any foul thing she had left in her. After I returned, it was time to get to work.
I felt like some ax murder, viciously scrubbing the rugs: latex gloves and carefully dabbing trying to transcend the vile nature of the situation. I'm no Ed Gein, but I did a pretty good clean-up job.
Other than that, work was aight and I got a little tip money. Not bad. Tomorrow's my day off and I plan on cleaning my room, reading, watching some movies, and whatever else. On the movie menu: Dead Leaves (an anime), Breathless (a Jean-Luc Godard film), and the Godfather movies I still have yet to watch any of. So big day tomorrow. Also, little Ruby has a check up appointment with the local vet, so I know she'll enjoy that. Hopefully she won't diarrhea all over their floor, too.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Within the walls of this house are one hundred billion ants waiting to strike at any opportune moment. Do not leave your food unsupervised. Do not leave crumbs. Do not arouse them. Do not anger them.
Exterminators have all been baffled.
"No amount of poison, repellent, or other form of warfare can fix the problem you have. This house is doomed. The ants have won again..."
They hang their heads in shame and return to their large white van with their business name strewn across the side. They drive home glad that the ants haven't gotten to him, but afraid they will.
They march in sprawling august lines. Singe-file to the food. No funny business, no distractions. There is no time for tomfoolery. The ephemeral ant has only serious thoughts.
I fear one day, starved, they will capture me while I sleep and deliver me to their lair within the confines of this house's walls. I, the ultimate game. Only a fully grown human could satiate their feral hunger.
They arrive from nowhere. They permeate through the walls. Materialize on counter-tops. Manifest in the shadows. Their hunger is relentless and indiscriminate.
I fear for my life. This is no home of mine, nor my father's. There is no asylum here. This is the great Roman Empire of ants. Their greed knows no boundary. They know of nothing sacred. Only the truly inedible is safe.
Exterminators have all been baffled.
"No amount of poison, repellent, or other form of warfare can fix the problem you have. This house is doomed. The ants have won again..."
They hang their heads in shame and return to their large white van with their business name strewn across the side. They drive home glad that the ants haven't gotten to him, but afraid they will.
They march in sprawling august lines. Singe-file to the food. No funny business, no distractions. There is no time for tomfoolery. The ephemeral ant has only serious thoughts.
I fear one day, starved, they will capture me while I sleep and deliver me to their lair within the confines of this house's walls. I, the ultimate game. Only a fully grown human could satiate their feral hunger.
They arrive from nowhere. They permeate through the walls. Materialize on counter-tops. Manifest in the shadows. Their hunger is relentless and indiscriminate.
I fear for my life. This is no home of mine, nor my father's. There is no asylum here. This is the great Roman Empire of ants. Their greed knows no boundary. They know of nothing sacred. Only the truly inedible is safe.
Welcome to Braza Leña, the Keys' finest churrascaria! How many in your party? One? That's just fine. Follow me this way.
The first thing you'll see here is our abundant salad bar. This comes with an expansive variety of fruits, vegetables, fine cheeses, and deli meats. Here is our soup of the day conch soup. Oh! It seems the cooks have misspelled conch, "konk". Hahaha, those silly Brazilians. Always joshing around.
If you come this way, you can see where the magic really happens. Right through this window you can safely observe our expertly trained gauchos cooking not 10, not 12, but 16 cuts of meat over a charcoal grill. That's right, 16. Over charcoal! It doesn't get any better than that. You're gonna be glad that cow died.
If you would make your way over to our dining area where there is a spectacular ocean scenery (if you just look past the parking lot). Yes, it looks like a good day for a sail in Islamor- oh, what is that? An iguana! It seems so! We've seen him before, I can recognize him by the orange blaze on his right elbow. Oh, he does likes to munch away at our little bushes. He's quite the performer.
Now, would you like tap water or our special fresh, bottled water? Sparkling water, you say? Right away.
In case you've never been to a "churrascaria," I'll go ahead and break down our modus operandi for ya. Go ahead and help yourself to the salad bar when you so please, grab yourself a nice salad, some rice and beans, some of our special plantain chips, or even some fresh sushi! Eat what you please, but be sure to leave room for our 16 cuts of meat! Our gauchos will come around one at a time, each time with a different skewer of meat. Now, these little tokens will tell the gaucho if you are ready for meat or not. It's very simple: red for stop, green for go. With some of the meat, the gauchos are gonna need your help. That's where these little tongs come in. When the gaucho brings over a cut such as our succulent filet mignon, he will cut an adequate slice off the side where you then pinch it with your tongs, transferring the meat onto your plate to fully enjoy.
One of our many South American servers will make sure your experience is not only pleasurable but cordial, for our servers are all well acquainted with the artistry of Brazilian hospitality. To help them to make your experience as positive as possible, our bussers will be sure to refresh your water glasses and trade your used plates for clean ones. Here: who is this brooding in the corner? Oh! here is our star busser Willie. Say hello Willie. Yes, if you need anything, anything at all, Willie will be more than pleased to help you. Won't you Willie? Hahaha, oh, he is a good kid.
Once you've finished with your salads and your soups and your meats and your little plate of mashed potatoes, your server will bring you the desert tray. You may order these to go or of course you could enjoy it here with your friends at Braza Leña. Now, here we have key lime pie (best in the Keys), coconut flan, caramel flan (my personal favorite), and crème brûlée. No? Are you sure? Hahaha, you could always take it home. You sure? Hahaha, ok then, I see you won't budge in your decision, but rest assured, you are missing out.
Well, here is your check. May I say it has been a pleasure and a privilege. I do certainly hope we will see you again next time you find yourself in Islamorada again. Have a wonderful vacation.
The first thing you'll see here is our abundant salad bar. This comes with an expansive variety of fruits, vegetables, fine cheeses, and deli meats. Here is our soup of the day conch soup. Oh! It seems the cooks have misspelled conch, "konk". Hahaha, those silly Brazilians. Always joshing around.
If you come this way, you can see where the magic really happens. Right through this window you can safely observe our expertly trained gauchos cooking not 10, not 12, but 16 cuts of meat over a charcoal grill. That's right, 16. Over charcoal! It doesn't get any better than that. You're gonna be glad that cow died.
If you would make your way over to our dining area where there is a spectacular ocean scenery (if you just look past the parking lot). Yes, it looks like a good day for a sail in Islamor- oh, what is that? An iguana! It seems so! We've seen him before, I can recognize him by the orange blaze on his right elbow. Oh, he does likes to munch away at our little bushes. He's quite the performer.
Now, would you like tap water or our special fresh, bottled water? Sparkling water, you say? Right away.
In case you've never been to a "churrascaria," I'll go ahead and break down our modus operandi for ya. Go ahead and help yourself to the salad bar when you so please, grab yourself a nice salad, some rice and beans, some of our special plantain chips, or even some fresh sushi! Eat what you please, but be sure to leave room for our 16 cuts of meat! Our gauchos will come around one at a time, each time with a different skewer of meat. Now, these little tokens will tell the gaucho if you are ready for meat or not. It's very simple: red for stop, green for go. With some of the meat, the gauchos are gonna need your help. That's where these little tongs come in. When the gaucho brings over a cut such as our succulent filet mignon, he will cut an adequate slice off the side where you then pinch it with your tongs, transferring the meat onto your plate to fully enjoy.
One of our many South American servers will make sure your experience is not only pleasurable but cordial, for our servers are all well acquainted with the artistry of Brazilian hospitality. To help them to make your experience as positive as possible, our bussers will be sure to refresh your water glasses and trade your used plates for clean ones. Here: who is this brooding in the corner? Oh! here is our star busser Willie. Say hello Willie. Yes, if you need anything, anything at all, Willie will be more than pleased to help you. Won't you Willie? Hahaha, oh, he is a good kid.
Once you've finished with your salads and your soups and your meats and your little plate of mashed potatoes, your server will bring you the desert tray. You may order these to go or of course you could enjoy it here with your friends at Braza Leña. Now, here we have key lime pie (best in the Keys), coconut flan, caramel flan (my personal favorite), and crème brûlée. No? Are you sure? Hahaha, you could always take it home. You sure? Hahaha, ok then, I see you won't budge in your decision, but rest assured, you are missing out.
Well, here is your check. May I say it has been a pleasure and a privilege. I do certainly hope we will see you again next time you find yourself in Islamorada again. Have a wonderful vacation.
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