Sunday, July 8, 2012

Today was a blur. One gray, broad streak my mind wandered all the way through.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Dear I-Might-Sound-Like-A-Bitch-But-I'm-Just-Being-Direct:

There are ways to be direct without sounding like a bitch. Instead of "Hey, you need to blah blah blah quicker." with the snappy hand gestures and the attitude or "What are you doing? Blah blah blah (Now I'm ordering you to do something)." can easily be "Ok, you know how to blah blah blah. Step your game up and we can get done quicker." in a friendly, lets-do-each-other-a-solid tone or "Once your done with that, we really need blah blah blah done. Could you do that?"

Its not that you are a bitch or anything, but you haven't learned to be direct in a way that isn't bitchy. And once you learn that, you can become a better leader.

"The oceans and the rivers attract the streams by their skills in being lower than they." Condescension doesn't make anyone want to do anything. Its a God awful motivator. When you give good advice in a condescending tone, you are probably going to make the recipient want to resist the advice. Later, the recipient might heed it, but wouldn't you want him/her to receive it immediately? We're all equals here, so treat others like one.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I just finished the second book of Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea Quartet. I read them when I was little, well at least the first two books and a bit of the third. So tomorrow I venture into new Archipelgan territory.

Ursula K. Le Guin is most widely known for her Earthsea series, but is also acclaimed for her version of the Tao Te Ching. Going back and reading A Wizard of Earthsea and The Tombs of Atuan, the Taoist elements are completely obvious. I love it. I read a little bit of her translation of the Tao Te Ching and I loved her rendition of the first chapter. So I ordered that bitch. Can't wait to read it!

Yesterday, I meditated for the first time in a while. I felt so good, like douching all the sewage in my mind. So today I meditated again. For a while I was meditating everyday. That was only for a month though. I think I'll pick it back up again. It's a great stress-reliever and just makes you feel content. Very refreshing.

Tomorrow we Americans will celebrate LIBERTY and FREEDOM and  THE BEST PART OF AMERICA - USAAAAAAAAA! I get to work my ass off. I know this because we get slammed during holidays and nothing's more American than a Brazilian steakhouse. Believe me, if you've ever been to one, you'd agree.

Well, it's off to eat and then to bed. I've got a big day ahead of me that I must mentally prepare for.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Seeing things through to the end is the best way to see them.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Surgeon general warning: this entry is raunchy and not recommended for the light-hearted, elderly, or any woman in the later trimester of her pregnancy.

When I returned from work, I found Ruby had shitted all over my room. You could tell she was nervous because the feces wasn't very solid. I'm talking about diarrhea. The nasty awful kind that reeks.

I took poor little Ruby for a walk so that she may exude any foul thing she had left in her. After I returned, it was time to get to work.

I felt like some ax murder, viciously scrubbing the rugs: latex gloves and carefully dabbing trying to transcend the vile nature of the situation. I'm no Ed Gein, but I did a pretty good clean-up job.

Other than that, work was aight and I got a little tip money. Not bad. Tomorrow's my day off and I plan on cleaning my room, reading, watching some movies, and whatever else. On the movie menu: Dead Leaves (an anime), Breathless (a Jean-Luc Godard film), and the Godfather movies I still have yet to watch any of. So big day tomorrow. Also, little Ruby has a check up appointment with the local vet, so I know she'll enjoy that. Hopefully she won't diarrhea all over their floor, too.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Within the walls of this house are one hundred billion ants waiting to strike at any opportune moment. Do not leave your food unsupervised. Do not leave crumbs. Do not arouse them. Do not anger them.

Exterminators have all been baffled.

"No amount of poison, repellent, or other form of warfare can fix the problem you have. This house is doomed. The ants have won again..."

They hang their heads in shame and return to their large white van with their business name strewn across the side. They drive home glad that the ants haven't gotten to him, but afraid they will.

They march in sprawling august lines. Singe-file to the food. No funny business, no distractions. There is no time for tomfoolery. The ephemeral ant has only serious thoughts.

I fear one day, starved, they will capture me while I sleep and deliver me to their lair within the confines of this house's walls. I, the ultimate game. Only a fully grown human could satiate their feral hunger.

They arrive from nowhere. They permeate through the walls. Materialize on counter-tops. Manifest in the shadows. Their hunger is relentless and indiscriminate.

I fear for my life. This is no home of mine, nor my father's. There is no asylum here. This is the great Roman Empire of ants. Their greed knows no boundary. They know of nothing sacred. Only the truly inedible is safe.
Welcome to Braza Leña, the Keys' finest churrascaria! How many in your party? One? That's just fine. Follow me this way.

The first thing you'll see here is our abundant salad bar. This comes with an expansive variety of fruits, vegetables, fine cheeses, and deli meats. Here is our soup of the day conch soup. Oh! It seems the cooks have misspelled conch, "konk". Hahaha, those silly Brazilians. Always joshing around.

If you come this way, you can see where the magic really happens. Right through this window you can safely observe our expertly trained gauchos cooking not 10, not 12, but 16 cuts of meat over a charcoal grill. That's right, 16. Over charcoal! It doesn't get any better than that. You're gonna be glad that cow died.

If you would make your way over to our dining area where there is a spectacular ocean scenery (if you just look past the parking lot). Yes, it looks like a good day for a sail in Islamor- oh, what is that? An iguana! It seems so! We've seen him before, I can recognize him by the orange blaze on his right elbow. Oh, he does likes to munch away at our little bushes. He's quite the performer.

Now, would you like tap water or our special fresh, bottled water? Sparkling water, you say? Right away.

In case you've never been to a "churrascaria," I'll go ahead and break down our modus operandi for ya. Go ahead and help yourself to the salad bar when you so please, grab yourself a nice salad, some rice and beans, some of our special plantain chips, or even some fresh sushi! Eat what you please, but be sure to leave room for our 16 cuts of meat! Our gauchos will come around one at a time, each time with a different skewer of meat. Now, these little tokens will tell the gaucho if you are ready for meat or not. It's very simple: red for stop, green for go. With some of the meat, the gauchos are gonna need your help. That's where these little tongs come in. When the gaucho brings over a cut such as our succulent filet mignon, he will cut an adequate slice off the side where you then pinch it with your tongs, transferring the meat onto your plate to fully enjoy.

One of our many South American servers will make sure your experience is not only pleasurable but cordial, for our servers are all well acquainted with the artistry of Brazilian hospitality. To help them to make your experience as positive as possible, our bussers will be sure to refresh your water glasses and trade your used plates for clean ones. Here: who is this brooding in the corner? Oh! here is our star busser Willie. Say hello Willie. Yes, if you need anything, anything at all, Willie will be more than pleased to help you. Won't you Willie? Hahaha, oh, he is a good kid.

Once you've finished with your salads and your soups and your meats and your little plate of mashed potatoes, your server will bring you the desert tray. You may order these to go or of course you could enjoy it here with your friends at Braza Leña. Now, here we have key lime pie (best in the Keys), coconut flan, caramel flan (my personal favorite), and crème brûlée. No? Are you sure? Hahaha, you could always take it home. You sure? Hahaha, ok then, I see you won't budge in your decision, but rest assured, you are missing out.

Well, here is your check. May I say it has been a pleasure and a privilege. I do certainly hope we will see you again next time you find yourself in Islamorada again. Have a wonderful vacation.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

I folded one small black linen napkin after another. A decent sized pile accumulated in the center of the table. Deborah and Jessica sat across from me, bickering about Jessica's world religions class she was taking at the community college that held classes at the high school down the road.

Deborah looked like she could be Jessica's mom, or perhaps future semblance: they both had curly blond hair and Deborah's eyes were bit more sunken than Jessica's, but given enough time, Jessica would catch up. The only difference was that Deborah talked like she didn't know anything about anything, Jessica was the exact opposite.

"Well, first God made the Jews," Deborah said without certainty.

"What!? Are you kidding me? I don't believe in that stuff," Jessica burst.

"You know, I worked for a lawyer once and I used to be atheist then," Deborah said and raised her eyebrows. "That was when I was into witchcraft," she whispered.

"You were into witchcraft?" Jessica asked mockingly but with intrigue.

"Oh my gosh, yes, okay, can I tell you guys this story?" she asked the both of us.

"Sure," I said.

"Oh my God, so I used to be really into witchcraft. Like... seriously you guys."

"Where do you learn witchcraft?" I asked, a bit curious and mostly entertained.

"From books. Like, I'd get them from the library," she retorted. She continued with her story.

"So, I moved back in with this ex-boyfriend of mine. This was back, like, twenty-five years a go. And so I show up. He wasn't there, so I moved my stuff in and wait for him. He gets home and says 'Hey, what are you doing here?' and I say 'Well, I'm moving back in.' but he's seeing this other girl and I tell him, 'Well, tell her its over. I'm here now.' He calls her and she's, you know, pretty pissed." She laughed. "So, I start talking to her and well, things don't go well after that. Anyways, one night I had a bunch of my girlfriends over and we all sat in this circle like this," she illustrated a circle with her hands. "And so I do this binding spell and I start saying all this nasty stuff you guys." Her tone became sober. "Like really bad stuff you guys. Awful."

She lifted her hands up. "My palms get so sweaty when I tell this story. Look." She showed her hands to Jessica.

"Oh my God," Jessica said, clearly impressed.

"And I have goosebumps, like, all over. Okay, so, I take this picture of her and I take a candle and burn a hole in her face. Then, a couple days later, this black guy comes to her work at this gas station, and shoots her in the head, you guys. I swear. To. God."

"Woah." It was silent.

"Do you blame yourself?" Jessica broke in.

"Well, yea," she said half-heartedly. "All my friends are scared of me now. Oh, hold on, I've got to take care of this table." She gave a nervous laugh and left to tend to her customers.

I continued to fold the small black linen napkins.

"So, like, I dunno if I believe in that stuff," Jessica commented.

"Yea, well I've never seen it and I have no reason to believe in all that."

"Yea, that stuff's pretty dumb," she said.

"Besides all those beliefs are just novelty: Bigfoot, witchcraft, ghosts, UFOs. I just don't hold beliefs like that."

She cocked her head and raised her left eyebrow, "What? You don't believe in UFOs?"

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Sleep: how I detest it in my waking life and crave for its prolonged peace in my sleeping life. I am constantly at odds with myself: wake versus sleep. Dream comes so sweet, and yet the waking life is what matters most. Then again, that is, after all, my waking opinion. 'There is always so much more to do,' I think at 3 in the morning. 'What does today hold for me that sleep and dream can't offer?' begs my tired mind at 11:30, just before the turning of noon. Such is my schedule and such is my plight. My constant internal bickering. The vying of nations at odds. Lincoln said it best, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." So what is a man to do?

Both parties need motivation. Reason to sleep; reason to wake. But I must soul search deep to find such motivations. Such sources of power are not always so obviously displayed. But I am searching and in time, they shall be found. And thus, the thesis and antithesis become synthesis and my soul becomes consolidated.

I did not ask for an easy life, nor shall I be granted one. My first world problems are for me to bear and me alone...

Monday, June 25, 2012

The town of Islamorada: between Key West and Miami and not particularly close to either one. Where shop signs were hand painted years a go and are cracked and rusted. Where business's have names like Bentley's Raw Bar or Michael's Automotive Repair. Where restaurants are shaped like pirate ships. Where the local artists carve tiki men with marijuana leafs on their foreheads and paint lobster cages. (And will give you lessons so that you too can learn to paint your lobster cages!) Where neighborhoods are little lanes with a tiny beach at the end; where neighborhoods don't take kindly to strangers intruding on their tiny beach. Where coconuts will split your skull; where mangoes splat on asphalt. Where wind and rain dominate; where hurricanes take vacations. Where "Well, there isn't much to do here but fish and drink," is followed by a chuckle from the average local. A pit stop on the straight-shot, one-road, impossible-to-get-lost way from Miami to Key West.
I sent a short story I wrote in my Fiction Writing class last semester to some magazines. Wish me good luck! If they don't get accepted there, I'm sure I can get it published somewhere else. I hope at least they give me helpful critiques of the story to make it more publishable.

I found a quote from Kierkegaard I liked, so I'll share it: "When I was young, I forgot how to laugh in the cave of Trophonius; when I was older, I opened my eyes and beheld reality, at which I began to laugh, and since then, I have not stopped laughing. I saw that the meaning of life was to secure a livelihood, and that its goal was to attain a high position; that love's rich dream was marriage with an heiress; that friendship's blessing was help in financial difficulties; that wisdom was what the majority assumed it to be; that enthusiasm consisted in making a speech; that it was courage to risk the loss of ten dollars; that kindness consisted in saying, 'You are welcome,' at the dinner table; that piety consisted in going to communion once a year. This I saw, and I laughed."

 Just another day at work. Tomorrow is a day off, so its gonna be reading all day. I'm not messing around. I'm going to try to knock a chunk out of my reading. That and deliver my paycheck to the bank. Maybe even watch a part or two of the Godfather trilogy, which I have been meaning to see for quite some time now.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The electricity went out at my work. Its funny when these things happen. Everyone stops and for the next couple seconds come to grip their environment without electricity. So the lights are all out, me and the other bussers are lighting candles to place in the dark crevices of the churrascaria and smoke begins to fill the restaurant. You see, the gauchos cook the meat over a charcoal grill and without the fans in the meat-kitchen, the smoke was left unchallenged. Apparently it was going to take 5-6 hours for the blown transformer to undergo proper repairs. I thought for sure we were going to close early.

Turns out we had a generator. The night went on.

Tonight I was feeling a bit down, so I went and bought myself some chocolate soy milk and Double Stuf Oreos (which are vegan!) I'm such a bad ass friend to myself. I know exactly how to cheer my ass up.

Well, I plan on reading the Earthsea saga within the month. I love it so far, its a trip down memory lane. Can't wait to get to the real action though.

Friday, June 22, 2012

I'm gonna go ahead and write this now.

I got the Earthsea Anthology in today and plan on reading it within the month. I'm taking a break from Nicomachean Ethics, because well, because I want to read something fun for a while. This'll be the easy read as the diction is simple and the imagery comes easy.

I took a three hour bike ride. Along the way, I stopped at "la cafeteria para cubano cafe". But it wasn't what I expected at all. I bought a pretty delicious drink "peach and carrot juice." Hmmm. Anyways, in line I couldn't help but notice a certain pair of short shorts on a clothing rack. They were baby blue and on the left thigh, had a logo blatantly ripping off Adidas' logo. And underneath the logo read "Adibos." It made me laugh pretty hard.

I met another one of my neighbors. Her name is Grace and she has an adorable little half-wolf half-shepherd named Bear. He played with Ruby for a bit, nipping at her heels and dancing around her gallantly like puppies do.

It rained again. It rains about every day here. And with rain comes mosquitoes, of course. Awful. Just awful.

I'm about to watch Insomnia, a Christopher Nolan film. Its the only film of his I haven't seen. I heard it wasn't too spectacular, but whatever. I'm sure its at least decent.
I'm pretty excited for next month. My friend Stokes and his girlfriend Grace will be visiting me for a week. We plan on going to Miami for the weekend and celebrating Stokely's 21st birthday. That'll be super fun.

I'm listening to the new Fiona Apple album. She's super emotional. I like the noise elements she's implemented into her new music. Not sure if I'm really into it though.

Tomorrow I have the day off work. So that'll be fun.

I fell asleep. Fuuck this'll be short.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I'm trying to think up ways to keep this blog from being an utter bore. I could go on about how I bitched out of washing my dog yesterday and so did it today. Maybe I could describe in excruciating detail my work day as a busser.

It rained today. When it did, I felt an immediate fatigue. I wanted to fall asleep right there at work. Unfortunately, I had to work instead. So, I'll probably conch out after this. Maybe even try to wake up early. That'd be interesting. I usually don't do that.

But I must get used to scheduled bedtimes. Once I return to school, I'll have morning classes. And those bitches are gonna be early. I'm not looking forward to it. But I am interested in rising to the occasion. Can I do it? And for how long? We'll see.

I just spilled beer all over Ruby's bed. Uuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Not cool.

Today I rekindled a flame for a world I made up when I was younger. Its interesting and I want to expand on the idea and play around with some of the stories I've made up. The premise revolves around a universe that is built as a transition realm between two other universes. Planets have souls and only planets with souls can foster life. There are many races and religions and etc. for this universe that are the collective of 6 years. There's quite a bit to it, but not as much as you'd think for having had the idea for 6 years.

Anyways, I'm tired. I want to sleep. Sorry this is getting out late. I hope I didn't keep any of my dedicated followers in too much suspense.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

So, same shit different day.

Today I got a 20 dollar tip again from the servers. I must be the best busser ever because the busser that trained me told me the servers never tip and I always get tips and compliments from them. They're bout to make me cocky.

After I write this I'm going to wash my dog, then probably meander the fathoms of the Internet, play ukulele, and/or actually try to get some writing done. Today I figured a good way to save up for fun thing for next summer is to sell short stories between now and then. I feel like I could do this. And when school starts up I probably will not want to whatsoever. We'll see what happens.

So yea, next summer. There's a lot of gray area there. But I have speculated what I may do. Now, I don't know what my dear brother has considered, but I may see if he wants to take care of my precious Ruby so that I may have a reprieve from the responsibilities she naturally comes with. If not, no biggie. But if he complies, I would like to see my family in California for a while, see friends out of state, get an internship, attend some festivals, etc. Also, I think I may work next semester, that is if I can find a job. I love the fact I'm in college, but I can't let it get in the way of this paper chase. Doesn't seem wise. Shit's vital.

I really do enjoy working more than being in school. Although, in school I learn 100% more than working in a steakhouse. I'm glad I graduate soon. Further education has always been a consideration, but its something I don't think I'll pursue directly after graduation. I require much more life experience. I require intense and life-altering encounters before I can sell my soul to academics. It is a must.

Anyways, I just hope that next summer I'm not back here. Stagnation is a feeling that comes easy to me. And I absolutely despise stagnation in the most sincere way. It is the yin to my yang.

Well, I'm off to microwave up some veggie dogs and wash my canine. See you tomorrow.

Monday, June 18, 2012


Well, I fell asleep before I wrote my entry yesterday. But, you didn't miss out on much. Yesterday I went in two hours early to prep for the Father's Day rush. I stayed a busy busser the entire time, which is how I prefer it. My manager told me I did better than than Memorial Day weekend, which I take as a nice compliment. I also received twenty bucks in tips, which for a busser on a non-stop day like Father's Day is shit, but for me its mas que nada.

Then I came home and my dad and I had a conversation about the metaphysics of the universe. My father is a large proponent of The Secret-esque believe-and-you-shall-receive-from-the-universe ethos (e.g., if I imagine me losing ten pounds everyday, the universe will abduct it away). Of course, my instant problem with this is the idea that the universe favors 9-to-5-ers casting wishes into the belly of the cosmos for a raise and blatantly ignores the desperate pleas of the starving or downtrodden. Not the rape victims and unjustly accused. Not the babies of Haiti or the enslaved of Uganda. The problem of evil is one that will always prevent me from believing in any higher power that favors mankind. I know I'm not alone in that.
Of course, these beliefs are usually tied in with quantum mechanics. (As a side note: I've never met anyone that really holds a decent understanding of quantum mechanics.) A lot of liberties are taken with quantum mechanics. You only need to watch almost any show on the History Channel to know this. One thing that irritates me the most however, are the liberties taken with Schrodinger's Cat. For those of you who aren't familiar with this, Schrodinger's Cat is a hypothetical situation in which a cat is placed in a steel cage wherein a Geiger counter and a bit of radioactive material is also placed. The cat is left in this cage for an hour, in which the radioactive material has, from what I understand, an atom has a more or less 50/50 chance of decaying, in which case a mechanism would be set off that shatters a vile of acid that would kill the cat. While the cat is contained in the cage and unobserved for that fateful hour, he is considered both dead and alive. This correlates into quantum mechanics, but, to me (who has very very very little understanding of quantum mechanics) seems to be a question of phenomenological ontology, or a relativistic reality determined by those who are capable of perception in which objectivity does not exist. Thus, existence is purely determined by consciousness.
However, if consciousness precedes reality, then the universe as we know it must only exist in our shared consciousness. If this is the case, then it must be able to be manipulated by us conscious beings, but, in our everyday lives, do we experience such capabilities? Can I really turn my dog into a dragon by simply imagining it? I don't know if its happened for you, but this has never happened for me.
Again, I don't know ANYTHING about quantum mechanics and I'm not even sure its fair to associate quantum mechanics with phenomenology. However, anybody can tell you that if you simply hope your desires without applying action, the universe usually doesn't throw them into your lap.

Well, enough of that. Today, my father bought a motor boat from two burly Cuban women. It is a small Boston Whaler and you know I'll be riding that around soon. When we returned to our modest Islamorada abode, I took him to eat gourmet sandwiches for a belated Father's Day outing. Then he left to see a lady friend of his. So Ruby and I have the house to ourselves.

Well, I'm off to play more ukulele and get some reading done. So bye.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Mosquitoes are awful and hellish. I don't know if they are absolutely vital to any particular ecosystem or if it's possible at all, but mosquitoes are one species I think our Earth would benefit from not having. It sounds cold blooded, but I don't think I'd find many who disagree.

Yesterday I watched Ladykillers by the Coen Brothers and I have to say it was the worst Coen film I have seen to date (and I've seen them all besides Intolerable Cruelty [which I heard was equally bad]). Work went well today. Slowly I am building my bussing skills, becoming the greatest in polishing silverware and balancing plates and stacks of food.

One of the servers had an elderly couple from New York. This particular server was also from New York, so this initiated much small talk between them. The couple told him they had been married for 37 years. He was impressed. He was so impressed, he used it as an ice breaker for the rest of his tables that night. He'd tell them, "37 years! Can you believe that? My marriage lasted 12 years before I started thinking I had ulcers. I can't imagine the stress that comes with 37 years!"

I must admit, 37 years with one other person seems pretty insane. Perhaps inhuman. I don't even know what being alive for that long is like, so I how would I begin imagining being with a significant other for that long? 37 trips around the sun...

Sure 37 was a lot, but 50 was more and a lot more impressive. This is how long my grandparents have been together. 50. 50 years. How could anyone stand being with another human being for 50 years? It sounds more like a punishment to me. But, their 50 years probably flew by for them. Time seems to only speed up as you creep along in life.

My grandparents are both good people. People I'm glad I descended from. They are not only good people, but are a shining example of human relationships in a world of scrapped marriages and disengaged, fleeting acquaintanceships. Happy 50th anniversary Poppa and Grandma!

Friday, June 15, 2012

I didn't have work so I decided to treat myself to an extended bike ride. There's something very liberating about trekking long stretches of road on a bicycle. I rode 8 or so miles to the nearest Winn Dixie where I stopped in for a protein bar and a Gatorade. I sat outside at the only table in the strip of the shopping center. I was half a bar in when a man that looked to be in his 60's asked if I wouldn't mind if he sat there too, seeing as how he was in a hurry and needed to eat. Of course I obliged him.

He sat down with a prepackaged meal: some chicken, mashed potatoes, and a Pepsi Zero. He told me the economy was shit and the job market looked grim for folks my age. It was something I'd heard a million times, but for some reason, hearing it from this stranger made it more real. He told me he was a financial advisor, and that usually he charged 150 or so dollars for financial, but sometimes he gave out freebies.

"Always wear a condom," he told me, cutting into his chicken. "Don't don't don't get a girl pregnant. Not now, not at your age. When you go and do something like that you're stacking the odds against you, then you're running around grabbing any job you can just to make end's meet. My daughter had a baby at 15 and another at 20. Guess where both the fathers are? Out of the picture. Know why? Cause they're not stupid. Now all her friends are out in clubs and no guy will look at her. Take my advice. Heh, she didn't."

I liked the way this guy was straight to the point. He wasn't one to beat around the bush and I respected that.

"Friends? Ha! Get into debt over your head with a kid or two and you'll see how many friends you really have," he took a swig of his soda. "Friends. Ha! Now family, you look out for your family."

He told me he started his firm at 23, something you couldn't do in today's market, not when jobs are already as scarce as they are. He was making a good bit of money now. He was even impressed by the amount of money he made, but he got that why by "earning 1 dollar wages and living a 50 cent lifestyle." But the exorbitant amount he made wasn't enough he said. Not when he was helping out his daughter and putting his grandchildren through college.

"It doesn't matter if you make ten grand a week if you live an eleven grand a week lifestyle. I've seen guys make their million and then ruin it by thinking they have all the money in the world."

He said he didn't mean to scare me, but he was only telling me the facts.

"It isn't anything I haven't heard before," I told him. "Besides, there's no sense in being afraid of facts."
"So, you got a job?"
"Yea, I'm a busser at a Brazilian steakhouse a couple miles down the road. It pays 9 dollars an hour. Everyone tells me I could do better, but I like it there and really don't feel like its that bad pay. I'm staying with my dad so I only pay for utilities."
"Hey, any job is better than none at all. So you're only staying down here for the summer?"
"Yea, I'm in school studying English," I purposely left out my double majoring in philosophy. "I'm from Tennessee. Just visiting my dad here for the summer."
"So you looking to be a teacher?"
I wasn't really looking to be anything, but I told him otherwise. He told me about the poor wages teachers, firemen, and other employees of the state. I expected him to tell me that my degree was worthless like everyone else his age tries to tell me, but he didn't.

When he finished his meal, he checked his watch. He had to pick his dogs up from a kennel.
"Six hundred dollars to keep dogs in a kennel. Yea, meanwhile some kid in China is working in a sweatshop."
"Well, if people are willing to pay for it, you may as well take the opportunity."
He laughed, "Well, I say all this as one working man to another. But if you don't give thought to what I've told you today and you find yourself in over your head in debt, don't look around for anyone to blame. Take a good look in the mirror and that'll the reality of it. No one holds yourself back more than yourself."
He shook my head, where I noticed a faded spider tattoo on his arm, and we parted ways.

I returned to my bike ride. I had never considered myself a "working man" before, but I guess that will change soon enough. Though I wouldn't be opening a firm up or making ten grand a week anytime soon or even have the slightest idea of what career I would one day nestle into, I couldn't bring myself to worry too much about the hellish "real world" that is barren in careers and opportunity. Its time will come, though that time is near. And I'll embrace it as best prepared as I can be with a 50 cent lifestyle and a condom by my side.
I fell asleep around 4 o' clock yesterday morning. My dog woke me up, as per usual. Her name is Ruby.

Ruby is a runt hound dog that has some sort of bizarre trust complex. She shies away from most people and most noises and most other animals. Anyways, I love her. I've had her for about 13 years. She's a bit like a little sister. Or a wolf-child perhaps. Since my stay here, I've let her walk about the little dead end lane in which my dad's home resides. I walk with her to the mangrove path past the dead end that leads to a homely concrete dock. A nice place to sea-gaze and to not think of anything.

I have been watching all the Coen brothers movies. I plan on watching them all this week. I recently saw The Big Lebowski in theaters (not for the first time mind you). The atmosphere was a lot of fun. If you've never seen a cult classic in theaters before, I highly recommend it. Anyways, I just got done watching The Man That Wasn't There starring Billy Bob Thornton. I can't remember him being in anything else I really cared for, but then again I haven't seen most of his movies (including Sling Blade). I don't want to give anything away about the movie, but I will say the story reminded me a bit of The Stranger by Albert Camus, who happens to be my favorite author. This doesn't surprise me much seeing as Ethan Coen has a bachelor's degree in philosophy.

Well, I think writing these entries at the end of the day is good and gives me a sort of closure on the day, but I also don't have much to say as I am tired. Perhaps I'll write tomorrow's entry earlier when I have the vitality to rant and rave about nothing in particular.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

It is June 13, 2012 and I am in Islamorada, Florida. I am here for the summer (until early August) and I am currently employed at a churrascaria, or a Brazilian steakhouse, as a busser. Each morning my dog Ruby wakes me up (this is around noon), I let her outside, I feed her, I feed me, I deviate (this involves ukulele, reading, and/or blatant unashamed internet meandering), I ride my bike for an hour, I eat, I go to work, I come back home and eat, and end my day doing not too much in particular (mostly internet meandering again).

Today I did these things and I imagine I'll do the same tomorrow. However, while working, I had an idea: it would be bad ass if I had a blog where I documented experiential experiments. The idea itself was to implement something new into my daily life for a month and then document it at the end. How did I feel about it before and how did I feel about it afterward. What was this experience like? Would I plan to continue this activity?

This sounds good, but I also know from my 21 years of living with myself that I am prone to playing the "three day monk," or the monk who launches into monkdom with incredible inspiration and intention, but burns out after three days. So, I usually don't make promises to myself.

But I'd like to see where this takes me. I'll give it a shot and see what comes of it. So, I plan to document my life every day for thirty days minimum. From there, I'll see how I feel and where I want to go.

So I guess this will conclude my first blog. I'm going to watch Die Antwoord music videos for a while, then play ukulele, and then read a bit more of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics and then eventually drift into some sort of early morning slumber.